Bound
“But this creature is in some way bound up with my errand. Until you found us he was my guide.”
- The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (Tolkien, 1993, p. 295)
I wanted to continue using the story of The Lord Of The Rings to speak about a dynamic we may experience when living with our Wounded Self. The quote above is said by Frodo to Faramir, and he is speaking about Gollum, who by Frodo’s request is leading Frodo and Sam to Mordor where Frodo plans to destroy the Ring. There are a few ways in which we can interpret the quote as it relates to our Wounded Self. The first is of feeling bound to them. Despite the pain and suffering of being led by our Wounded Self, we can feel helpless to change such patterns of behavior. We become attached to our Wounded Self’s strategies, just as Gollum is attached to the Ring, and no matter how self-destructive the attachment is, what our strategies promise us can overpower our ability to say “no” to acting on them.
While we may involuntarily allow our Wounded Self to guide our behavior, we can also use these moments as opportunities for healing. For instance, when we feel a craving for something, it is an indication that our Inner Child needs us. Perhaps we have neglected them or are triggered by some circumstance and our go-to reaction is to numb or zone out. If we can notice our Wounded Self’s desire to distract before acting on it, then we can make the choice to turn toward them and understand their experience. Beneath the compulsion to distract is always a part of us that needs attention. With practice, our Wounded Self will become more receptive to our presence and more trusting in our love, and will feel more comfortable sharing about the pain or fear they were seeking to escape.
What is our errand but to learn how to love all parts of ourselves? When we can see that our Wounded Self is not just something we are bound to, but a guide for discovering what remains unhealed, then our relationship with them can take on new meaning.
Tolkien, J. R. R. (1993). The lord of the rings: The two towers. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.
