Leap of Faith

If we can acknowledge what is here, then we don’t need to act from strategy. Strategy is an attempt to control how we feel by manipulating others, our environment, or our feelings. When we acknowledge how we feel, no matter the feeling, it relieves us of the compulsion to strategize, for our need of being seen, heard, and attended to has been met.

Mindfulness helps us become more aware of ourselves, whether we are in connection or disconnection, and the ways in which these states manifest in our daily lives. Sometimes we are only aware of being disconnected through observing our behavior and its erratic, compulsive, confused, aggressive, or apathetic expression. While a goal of mindfulness is to notice our need for connection with ourselves before the absence of this need manifests as a strategy, being aware of when we are engaged in strategy is a perfectly good place to start—and it is often the place we start. Our motivation to live from authenticity usually comes from experiencing the suffering of living in strategy. We begin to take notice of what these strategies are, during what circumstances they arise (e.g., triggered by a particular context, relationship, or emotion), and how to slow down or pause the strategy’s momentum before serious consequences result.

Gradually, we build our capacity to feel the feelings we don’t want to feel, gain the courage to face what we fear, and trust that choosing what is most loving will bring us what we truly desire. We will likely have to take this leap of faith again and again. We can start small, using low-risk situations to practice. And gradually as we see the benefit of taking such risks, of how changing these old patterns of living reward us with increased well being, we can begin taking bigger risks, letting go of our need to control and manipulate every aspect or our lives. The rewards of this practice will feed itself.